Our Story
“Marriage is not forbidden to us, but instead of getting married at once, it sometimes happens we get married at last.”
— Aunt Alicia, Gigi (1958)
Altair & Pete
—
17 years ago…
But wait, this started way before then…
Let’s go to the very beginning…
The Nineties
“Trick or Treat!” In 1992, those were the first words 6 year old Altair said to 8 year old Pete. They both remember this vividly—Altair because she thought Pete was cute, and was excited by the Collies behind him; Pete because he was deeply impressed that Batman (Altair’s Dad, Frank), The Penguin (Altair’s Mom, Susan), Catwoman (Altair), and a baby dinosaur (Noelle) were on his doorstep. He didn’t know that they’d not only won an award for their ensemble ensemble—They were in the Montclair Times for it. He also remembers thinking that Catwoman was cute, might be about his age, and… was that a real bullwhip…? Yes, it was.
It wasn’t until 1997 that they would notice each other again, both walking to Mt. Hebron Middle School. Altair wondered about the “cute guy in the Metallica t-shirt,” and Pete wondered about the rock-chick in the younger grade. For two years they saw each other walk to and from school, and both were members of its chorus. Altair’s friends would gush over how cute he and a few other older boys were, and Altair would roll her eyes at them—“They don’t even know we exist.” In truth, it turns out, she was wrong: Pete very much knew she existed, but she wouldn’t know that until many years later.
While attending Mt. Hebron, Altair and Pete only spoke once, at the “uptown” pizzeria, Arturo’s, after school with a group of mutual friends. Pete showed off his binder of mostly Metallica CD’s, flipping through the pages one by one. He wore his favorite Devil’s pullover. Altair playfully clipped hair clips in his hair.
They wouldn’t speak again until college, though they would see each other around the neighborhood. Altair went to Montclair High School, whereas Pete attended St. Peter’s Prep. He didn’t know it at the time, but the cool guy he admired in the black leather trench coat and Cuban heels smoking a cigarette before boarding the train with him every morning was Altair’s Dad. Pete was heading to school at the same time Frank was heading to work.
The Aughts
Every once in a while, Pete would catch one of the Montclair High School SVPA productions that his friends worked on or performed in. Altair and her friends were there too, having also worked on or in the show. Afterward, he’d sometimes join the group at The Diner, a tradition among the theater crowd. Occasionally, they’d catch glimpses of each other in the bustling diner, but their paths never crossed in conversation.
Fast forward to 2006. Altair was attending Johnson & Wales University in Rhode Island and Pete was attending Jersey City University in New Jersey. Although miles away, their friend circles were starting to overlap more closely, and Altair and Pete had found themselves getting to know each other through group gatherings. They finally exchanged numbers and started becoming friends in their own right over the summer.
Summer of 2007, things changed. It’s safe to say that when Altair came back from school, they spent most of the summer together via mostly group outings. It was on one such outing on an August night in NYC that things started to change. It was the night of “the kiss.” It wasn’t the first kiss, and it wasn’t the last kiss, but it was the kiss. You might know the one. The first one that feels electric.
And yet… they still didn’t start dating. The last thing on their minds was getting serious. Pete just left a long term relationship. Altair wasn’t looking for long distance. Both of their senior years were coming up. But this time when Altair went back to Rhode Island, Pete would come up to visit. She took him to her favorite event, Waterfire, college events, and the best gay night club in town. When not together they’d spend romantic nights texting each other quotes from Aliens and other sci fi and action movies. But if you asked them, they weren’t dating.
Finally, things came to a head that Thanksgiving break. The night after having a blast at ‘80’s night at Pub46 in Clifton, shooting Car Bombs and singing Bon Jovi at each other while friends Simeon Kezengwa and Danny Stephens teased them—“Did you know they’re not dating?!” “Of course, they’re not dating!”—Altair visited Pete while he was closing The Office Beer Bar & Grill. She gave him a choice: Understanding he had been wanting some time being single, when she went back to school, she was going to start dating one of her classmates in Rhode Island. But the fact of the matter was, there weren’t sparks with the other guy, and there were sparks with Pete. So this was his chance… did he want to be official? The answer was a resounding yes. And because it was 2007, at 2:33a on November 20th, they logged onto Facebook via the restaurant’s computer (their high-tech flip phones weren’t going to cut it!) and updated their status from single to taken. In less than a year, they’d said “I love you.”
The Rest
The truth was, it was never supposed to be a long term relationship. They had fun together, and wanted to keep having fun together. In 2008 and 2009, Pete was deployed to Peru, then Iraq—his first and only two missions of his military service. They kept in touch via video message recordings that they still have. For bandwidth purposes, videos had to be 7 min or less. When he came back, Altair was looking for apartments and it was expensive, and Pete only ever lived at home or the barracks. They decided it made financial sense to move in together, and did so in 2011. They laugh, because it was true: in 3.5 years of dating, they didn’t fight once. They fought the entire first year they lived together… or so it felt.
They were changing and evolving, and while they always left space for the possibility they might grow apart, having started dating so young, they never did. The time together earnestly flew by. When they hit 10 years together, it didn’t feel like 10. It still doesn’t feel like it’s been 17. Although they talked about marriage, they didn’t want to. Until suddenly it made sense to, and they were finally in a place where they could do it the way they wanted to.
And so they spent the summer of 2023 hunting engagement rings for each other, together, and on November 4, 2023, Pete took Altair to Providence. This time he took her to Waterfire, and he proposed. And now it’s time to do the thing. It’s been a journey, and you’ve seen us through it all. We’re so looking forward to celebrating with you!
Decades in the making
